Funerals...

So as I mentioned already, I was at a removal on Saturday. It made me think about alot of stuff. Considering I didn't even know the deceased, it had a pretty big impact on me. I knew two of his immediate family, but one doesn't matter for the purposes of this blog. So I'm friends with the guy's grandson. I pay my respects, give him a hug as my numph cardigan touches his black suit. The contrast in our clothes mirrored our reasons for being where we were.

Afterwards we stood around outside for a minute. Two of my friends headed for home, and there were three of us left. This is all pretty irrelevant, so I don't know why I'm writing it. But it feels like I should tell the whole story, yet I don't want to bore you. I'll move on.

The first thing that affected me, I suppose you could say, was the absence of the grandson's friends. For a 17 year old guy, I was pretty shocked that not even his best friend turned up. Don't get me wrong, he's a pretty popular guy, and has his group of close friends. Which is one of the reasons I was so surprised at the lack of younger people there. The one that surprised me most of all was the fact that his best friend didn't show up. And it's not like he couldn't. I had been talking to him that morning and he was just hanging around for the day.

So what the fuck? I think it was seriously horrible, mean and selfish not to take half an hour to go to the removal even. And he wasn't going to the funeral either. I mean, I don't know the guy that well and I went partly because of him. I don't know, maybe 16 and 17 year olds don't generally go to their friends' family members' funerals but I thought it was a necessary mark of respect. I wouldn't think twice about going to any funeral of someone related to a friend.

So then this got me thinking. If I was in that situation, who would come to the removal or funeral for me? And I began discovering that alot of people would go. Or at least I think so anyway. I'm not trying to be cocky or anything. Not at all. It's just I know I have good friends that I can depend on. But that wasn't it either. I wasn't thinking just about my friends. I began realising that I know so many people, and I'm so thankful for every one of them. Ok, they wouldn't be coming to any funerals, but still, I know them. So I started telling the odd person 'thank you.' It's no harm.

Then today I was talking to a friend whoI wouldn't socialise with outside of the situation that I know her from. And she said to me that I had a very large social circle, that I was very socially developed or integrated or whatever. And I liked to hear that. Someone admiring the fact that I don't just talk to people aged between 15.83 and 17.25. Some not freaked out by the fact that many of my Facebook friends are over the age of eighteen. And I realised I'm goddamn glad that I know who I do.

This post really didn't work out the way I wanted it to. It didn't create the feeling that I wanted to create. The warm, fuzzy, happy feeling that I feel right now because of a few particular people, but another, subconscious feeling I have because of my wider social circle. I'll have to try describing it again sometime, because it's bloody amazing and I wouldn't change any of it for the world.